i have this friend, his name’s jamal, and when we were younger, he was obsessed with pokemon, and pretended he was a pokemon trainer. one time we saw this stray cat, and he pretended it was a pokemon, and tried to catch it, and somehow he actually managed to get a hold of it. his family’s had it ever since
now we call him “got a cat” jamal
If I were in the Hunger Games I would use one of the parachutes and gift containers and put all kinds of poisonous berries in them and then climb trees and send them down to unsuspecting tributes. Oh, you thought you were getting a nice fruit salad? Think again. POISON.
You should volunteer as tribute, you evil genius
I was mucking around with Audacity, listening to songs in reverse. For the fun of it, I put on everyone’s favorite song, Blurred Lines. And shockingly, I heard something I had never expected to hear. Robin Thicke was fooling us this whole time. He wasn’t trying to be misogynistic, he wanted us to listen closer to the song and understand that he in fact does believe his lady partner needs to be treated with the utmost respect.
You might find it VERY hard to believe, but I implore you to listen very closely (with headphones if you can, because it can be hard to hear). The message I’m talking about comes in around the 30 second mark.
After the 30sec mark I just kind of stared at my wall for the rest of the song trying to accept what I just heard.
IM FUCKING DONE
today in school I learned that if you do not want to have sex with your boyfriend you’re supposed to put your hands up and say “I do not wish to become sexually active” so I’ve been practicing
after taking about 20 of these I realized that this might be why I’ve never had a boyfriend
i have no interest in small talk tell me about ur childhood and what ur parents are like and how many siblings u have and if u are afraid of death or if u believe in an afterlife and what ur favorite movie is and if u like romantic comedies or horror movies or action movies and what kind of music u like and why and tell me the bands or artists u loved in middle school but are too ashamed to admit to anyone else